It feels like eons have passed since I stopped writing down my feelings. And when I write about it, it’s not always the best feelings in the world. This is my guilty pleasure.

First, I just turned 23 and I’m writing this on the 23^rd of December. It doesn’t really have relevance, I just feel like noting this down. Don’t get me wrong, I was born on December 5.

This is technically a transition age for me because I have opened my doors to embrace the path to womanhood. Just kidding! I’m an XX, straight and basically far from being lady-like. So this year, I’ve sworn that I will acquire grace and poise and...whatever, I’ll just be myself, that’s fine. I like the way I am, I don’t think there’s enough reason for me to change that. So, screw stereotypes!

Second, I’m undergoing the ultimate stage of RECONFIGURATION.

It’s like in the world of gaming. And like in every game, the ultimate goal is to WIN. In order to win, you must have really good control of your character. And in terms of GOOD CONTROL – that means you should really have good stats, equipment, weapon, skills, and command. I believe that we exist in a pre-organized system. There is always a default in every setting and the experiences that we acquire as we venture in life modify the program.

Innovation always comes in between the lines. And this takes a matter of courage and creativity. Well, for me, I’ve decided to step up.

I’m an average person and like everybody else, I’ve succumbed into mediocrity for a couple of times in my temporal profile. I gained and lost then gained again. It’s always been a cycle.

It seems fitting when I say the world I’ve known circled down the drain into the abyss as I opened my eyes and let reality slowly sink into me. It’s the same but different earth from the way it was before. Still, it is earth – and this fact alone is reassuring.

As I sifted through the old memories, it came into my understanding that the mistakes in the past have been a recurrence in one way or another. They teach me one thing I’ve always failed to learn. And that was to love myself. Yes, this is basic; a default in every sense, but it’s always the one thing that most people fail to do. Love thy self. A sense of self preservation won’t hurt.

And so here it comes, tadaaa!!!

In a couple of days, we will enter a new year filled with hope and dreams, well desolation for some and demise for others, BUT...but there is still HOPE. This year has been the wildest, most varied year that I’ve had so far. And it was the most bittersweet with endings and new beginnings.

Come 2014 and I’ll show you how awesome I can be...with conviction!

Third, FOCUS.

I’m easily distracted and even though my goals are clear, I’m almost always late in achieving them. That’s because, well, I’m distracted.

You see, I lack focus. I’m the least organized person but being one does not mean I’m messed up. I’m just being spontaneous. There’s a thin line delineating these two.

There is no easy way for me to deliver this but...I know I’m good and I’m aware of my potentials and I’m aware that if I really put my mind into it, I can do it better than anybody else. And there’s one way for me to prove it and that’s embracing this skill, this capability and to hone it to level up. I’m done being a slacker. I’d rather be carefree. Acceptance is the key.

I am a wide-eyed wanderer and I travel a lot in my mind, in my thoughts, in the realms of my dreams and imagination. Well, I want to sharpen this skill.

I really want to travel. GO to places. Experience their culture. Meet new people. Capture scenery. And share this experience of a lifetime.

Initially, I started off with this blog to account my experiences as a novice in the field of medicine. Well in fact, it became more of a chronological contour of self growth.

I’ve decided that I will focus more in achieving my dream – to be one of the best doctors, to heal the world in my generation, to contribute more to society. And as I do that, I’d be the best person that I can be. Every day, there’s always a new thing to learn, a new stuff to discover, a new insight to build and this is the hope everybody is blabbering about. I’m always a late bloomer, but there it goes, it takes intense heat and pressure through time to make a diamond. Indeed, patience is a virtue.

I was once lost in track, and now I’ve gained a sense of direction.

Fourth, LOVE can wait.

I’ve been hasty and very aggressive. Many can attest to that. And I’m not denying this fact. It’s always nice to love somebody and to stay in love and to keep that love alive, well...it’s one of the recurrent affairs I’ve mentioned above.

After a handful of heartbreaks, it took me a lot of courage to live with the hurt every day and yes, it is wrong and I wanted to slap my past self so badly for being ridiculous and airhead in this aspect.

I’ve been a hopeless romantic and I think I’ll always be one.

So what’s in store for me?

LOVE CAN WAIT.

Seriously, there’s more to life than that.

And when it comes, be sure you don’t belong to someone else when the right one comes along. Don’t be hasty. There’s no need to rush.

Fifth, allies.

In order to defeat the dragon, you cannot do it alone. You need an army of allies who share the same goal with the passion that burns like yours. A party like no other.
No man is an island. You can be awesome on your own and you don’t need the cheerleader effect to compromise your weakness. But let's face it, it is always better, if not, best, to share the precious moment with others.

Like begets like, and this is true in any form. I like to stay positive in everything that I do. I like people who share the same outlook in life. It makes more sense to live. Sometimes, they become the reason why you wake up everyday. Friends. They bring sunshine after the rain, they even bring rainbow along with it.

I'm fortunate that I have the most awesome companions - who's been there through ups and downs, in the most fun and dull moments, whom I share memories with - family and friends. They matter the most.

A new chapter begins.