Black and White

I browsed over my old posts and they spoke in different tunes but of the same theme. I couldn’t help but smile as the memories hovered. It was worth the try. I’m not very well oriented to the world when this waterfall of emotions whirls inside my mind.

My love history now comes in a long list without even me realizing it. I admit that I’m surprised that I went a little beyond what was expected of me or what I expected for myself. I’m not proud of the number of guys I horded ‘cause everyone of them has our own story and it came along with a heartbreak in one way or another.

I got my heart broken and I was a heartbreaker, enough said. And along the process, I got tired of even thinking about how the whole thing went wrong.

Somehow, at 22, I realized that there’s a lot for me to learn and to find out about life in general. It is never enough. I’m always searching and asking for answers. My archer spirit is wilder than I thought.
I’d been the worst girlfriend and that held me back from committing the same mistakes as before. It was not easy. I had to reprogram almost everything because it was a part of me that needed the change, the ultimate intervention.

The truth is I’m afraid. I’m more than afraid to venture again in this kind of relationship. I’m too afraid to even try. After all, it was not that long when I just picked up the pieces of myself and became whole again.

Then, I’m with YOU.

It’s been a month and I couldn’t promise you anything but this kind of LOVE and to be yours, and yours alone. It is troubling at first but doing it with you, being with you by my side, giving you everything there is to give – Yes, with you. I don’t mind the trouble.

I always find my way with words, with my writings, but with you, words are not enough to express what I feel. You are the exception. It is early to tell and there’s a lot that needs progress. There are a lot of things we don’t know about each other.  

But I can wait. I will wait. I’m looking forward to where this is going.

Hey, stranger, I can tell now why people say “love is sweeter the second time around.” It’s because we learn from our past mistakes. They make us better. They make us stronger. And that second time they’re pertaining to chances. Give it your best shot while you still can because you’ll never know what will happen next. Tomorrow comes eventually but the moment does not linger forever.

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